Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
