so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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