You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
