don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
even my farts smell like vagina
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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