Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
