I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
