Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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