Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
