my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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