I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
