I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
