I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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