i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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