he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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