Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
