I need help removing her.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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