i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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