They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
