? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Four minutes until I can fart!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
