Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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