K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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