Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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