we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
