You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
