id be glad to
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
