I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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