Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Come see our sink grown plant.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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