Cold hands, warm shart.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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