I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
