Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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