the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
