I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
