eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
