idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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