Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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