I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
