i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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