Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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