So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
