You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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