I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
