the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
