His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
