you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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