Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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