Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
