Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
