Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
that's an acceptable place to lick
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
