16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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