and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
