Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
