Taylor Swift is so right about you.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize