he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
