she was so not down for the gang bang
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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