I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
